March 14, 2025 by Vanessa Webb
Clinical expert and best-selling author, Lynn Lyons, shares practical strategies for working with anxiety. Video recording of session available for two-week period thanks to Harbor Media!
On Tuesday March 4th, more than one hundred parents, caregivers, and educators gathered in the Hingham Middle School Auditorium for a Community Talk with best- selling author and clinical expert, Lynn Lyons. The talk focused on practical strategies to help navigate anxiety and worry.
Lynn Lyons is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist based in Concord, New Hampshire, with 35 years of experience treating anxiety in adults and kids. She is the author of several best-selling books, including most recently, The Anxiety Audit, and is co- host of the popular Flusterclux podcast which is “aimed towards anxiety in kids and GREAT for adults” (Washington Post).
In the 90-minute talk and Q&A session that followed, Ms. Lyons shared a wealth of information and perspective on reframing and managing anxiety, with a focus on skill- building and practical strategies that parents can use at home. Ms. Lyons has a gift for talking about a serious topic without making it too serious. The talk managed to be informative and perspective-shifting, while still being fun and full of laughter. The discussion was focused on helping young people navigate anxiety, but adults can benefit equally from the strategies shared. The full 90-minute video courtesy of Harbor Media can be viewed here (http://100.17.2.222/CablecastPublicSite/show/5249?site=1) through March 28th .
Following is a recap of ten strategies that community members in attendance cited as their big take-aways for supporting their families in managing anxiety:
1. Normalize it. Everyone has anxiety. It is a foundational emotion with an important job – keeping us safe. The challenge is when anxiety goes overboard, promoting things to emergency status that aren’t actual emergencies – a test, a to-do list, the weird text from a friend. The goal is not to get rid of anxiety (we need it!), but to help young people understand how it works and how they can work with it.
2. Step into it. Our instinct is often to deal with anxiety by giving it more of what it wants – certainty and comfort. When we do this, we feed the anxiety and make it worse. The key is to do the opposite of our instincts. Instead of accommodating or avoiding anxiety, help kids step into it.
3. Focus on the “how”, not the “what”. Understanding how anxiety works and how your young person experiences it is more helpful than focusing on what is making them anxious. The content of the anxiety will shift over time. There will always be something new to worry about – this is outside of their control. But kids can exert control over the process of anxiety, by building skills and learning strategies.
4. Build flexibility. Flexibility is a critical skill for managing anxiety. Help kids build this skill by letting them experience uncertainty and discomfort. Don’t swoop in to fix things. Empathize with them, be a steady presence, and convey confidence that they can handle tough situations. It’s hard to see your kids frustrated and distressed. Remind yourself that this is how they build flexibility and resilience. A good question to ask at dinner: What was something unexpected that happened in your day? How did you handle it?
5. Give anxiety a name and talk to it. This creates distance and perspective, reinforcing that anxiety is just one part of you, not all of you. This keeps it from taking over. “Hi Gladys, you’re back. Thanks for trying to keep me safe, but I’m ok, I don’t need you right now”.
6. Encourage autonomy. It is an antidote to anxiety. Let kids do more things on their own – take risks, make mistakes, fall and get back up, get bored and get creative. Chores and part-time jobs are great ways to help cultivate autonomy.
7. Cut down on fear-based talk & safety chatter. Anxious parents = anxious kids, and anxiety runs in families. When parents use fear-based language, kids absorb it. Notice if you tend to talk about what could/will go wrong or the world being a dangerous place – and try to do it less around your kids.
8. Get phones out of the bedroom. Set a guideline that phones are charged outside the bedroom overnight. Getting enough sleep is key to keeping anxiety in check. Just having a phone nearby – even it’s off – has been shown to negatively impact sleep. Not having access to a phone at bedtime also cuts down on time for social media and doomscrolling, which feed anxiety. It’s never too late to implement this rule.
9. Encourage time with friends and volunteering. Anxiety is a “me”-heavy emotion, where it’s easy to get stuck inside your head, worrying or ruminating about something that happened or something that might happen. Focusing on others is a great way to get out of your head.
10. Use the breath as a reset button. Taking a deep breath, especially with a long exhale, tells your brain you’re safe, which activates the nervous system’s relaxation response (the opposite of fight or flight). This nervous system reset can bring down the intensity of the feeling of anxiety in the body enough to help take the next step towards whatever is waiting.
To learn more about how anxiety works and strategies for managing it, a recording of the full talk is available to all community members though Harbor Media. The recording can be accessed through this link through March 28th . (pin Harbor Media VOD link).
The Community Talk with Lynn Lyons was sponsored by the Hingham Mental Health Task Force in partnership with Hingham CARES and the Hingham Public Schools Wellness Committee, as part of ongoing efforts to offer engaging and impactful community programs that support a proactive focus on mental health and well-being.
To learn more about Lynn Lyons and her books, podcast, and workshops, visit https://www.lynnlyons.com/
To take part in the Hingham Being Well Book Series Discussion of The Anxiety Audit by Lynn Lyons, taking place on March 27th, register here, there are a few spots left.
The Hingham Mental Health Task Force and HPS Wellness Committee welcome and encourage community member suggestions for future talks and events on the topic of mental health and well-being. Please reach out to Liz Miller at millere@hingham ma.gov or Vanessa Webb at vrosewebb@yahoo.com with suggestions, questions, or to get involved.
VIEW VIDEO HERE: http://100.17.2.222/CablecastPublicSite/show/5249?site=1
